Le Crush

You guys, click on this link for some song that was relatable at the moment. Right click on the video and click “loop.”
Okay, now that the mood’s been set…
Ah, crushes.
What. A. Wonder.
The thing is I’m currently crushing hard. Mega-hard. I don’t even know the guy and I like him.
Wowza.
Anyways, to all the people out there crushing on a lad or a gal who doesn’t know of their existence: I feel you bro. Like, nothing we can do but sit tight.
Arg, matey. Why am I like this?
The problem with crushes is that you like this person so much and you just want to keep liking them and get to know them. You want to be a little more than strangers, but you’re either morbidly afraid of going up to them and being like, “Hey, I like your face” without sounding like a total creep or they avoid you.
This friend of mine has a crush on a lad her age and he knows; the whole grade knows and keeps reminding him. She doesn’t like him anymore, she likes our other friend who is super nice and cute. The first dude avoids her like the plague though. I’d hate being in her spot.
The thing about us girls is that we sometimes fall for people who are… um… not good for us. Or we don’t have a clue who they are. It’s sad, really. We might have a lad who is probably the most amazing and the friendliest and charming and just plain awesome right in front of us yet we seem to avoid him and go for some awful dude and just harm everyone involved.
Yup. In short, life’s a complicated jumble of complications.
Now a talk about my love life (not much to it to be quite frank). Can you even consider a crush as love life because if you can’t, then I have no love life, really.
Anyways, I like this boy. I’d show you a picture, but that’s pretty risky since lots of people I know in real life check this blog.
The first thing you notice about him is his laugh. His laugh is like a baby’s; when you hear it, you just feel better and want to laugh along; it’s so unlike a laugh I’ve heard. It’s like one of those laughs girls from chick flicks seem to have that echo and are fake but his is just so real. That’s one of the reasons I like him so freaking much.
His smile is so just… different? Amazing? Charming? It’s just a little bit of everything that manages to still be perfection.
What I like about him most though is how he acts. His actions seem to be like they were planned ahead of time, so steady, so unlike me.
Now that I think about it more, I think I like him because he’s the complete opposite of me. He truly is.
He’s shockingly (like, it’s not a shock, but he’s just soooooo cute x ∞) cute. And smart. I don’t know if he’s book smart since I haven’t really known him for starters all too long, but he has this aura that exudes from him and he sure is someone who knows a lot and you can tell is spiritually strong and powerful. I don’t know, man, but there’s just something about him.
For the sake of privacy and all that lunaticity (is that even a word?) and since lots of people I know in real life read this, I’ll give him a nickname. My best friend Lavender (nickname I came up with now since I don’t feel she’d like to be part of this blog) and I used to come up with so many nicknames for people so we could talk about them behind their back and not be afraid of being caught by instructors or by the person. Don’t worry: we never talked bad about them, don’t kill me.

Fellow dweebs: I’d like to introduce you to Lavender, my best friend for what seems like eons. Lavender – people who follow my blog.

Anyway, we christened my current crush (I sound like I’ve liked a whole lot of boys hen that is totally not the case, I’ve just known Lavender since long ago) as Tuesday. Why a day of the week, I don’t know. All I know is that it stuck because I liked this other dude before him and we called him Saturday (or at least I think, he’s old news now) because his name started with an S.
So welcome Tuesday to the blog. Tuesday is a guy I’ve had a crush on since I met him which was in February I think. Around that time.
If you could meet Tuesday, I bet you’d like him too. That’s how he is.
There are lots of good and bad things that come with crushes. Some good are you seem to feel happier and have some sort of reason to live (I just cringed at the thought, it sounds so cliché) and you just have something that keeps your mind off of some things. It’s a great feeling. But then you also seem to become more self-conscious. Seem to think you have to please the person you like and make them “notice” you when that is not the case. You don’t have to change yourself just because a person won’t accept you. If they don’t accept you, screw them, amirite? There’s seven billion people out of there and they were just one of them.

Another bad thing about crushes is a crush is not something serious. It’s a thing that may last a week and change. It’s like food, you might feel a day is ramen noodle worthy and the next day feel like you want gourmet dinner cooked by a real life chef.
To add on to that, they distract you so freaking much. For example, I had this essay I had to write and it was my final. I spent two hours just reading cliché stuff online about crushes like relatable posts and memes and tips and everything. This always, always seems to happen. It’s as inevitable as oblivion.

Well, I’ll leave you guys to it since I have some stuff to do. Bye and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Peace.
Let’s pray Mama V gets better luck.

Dear seniors of 2017…

Dear seniors,

You guys graduate tomorrow. You’re done now. You’re going on to the next big adventure of your lives. You’re leaving us all.

When I first saw the ¨Get to Know a Senior¨ video, I cried. You’re leaving, finally. Leaving and we never really said thank you hard enough or as much to compensate for everything you did do. We wouldn’t be able to thank you enough for all you did, but we never did enough. All we did was complain about you or just ignore you. I feel that while we may not leave as powerful a footprint as you, we will maintain it as long as we can and make you guys proud. We promise.

You guys are going to leave such a strong legacy at the school. You are the first graduating class of our school and will probably be the best to ever graduate from here. There’s no lying there: you guys are such amazing people.

To those, I didn’t get to talk to or I was just too shy or too nervous: I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk to you and really enjoy the moments we had. Now, I realize that I should’ve done more and should’ve talked to you instead of being awkward and all that. Regardless, we can’t change that anymore, but I’m really sorry either way.

You, as an entire class, are such an inspiration. You guys are squad goals, friend goals, everything goals. You guys are the goal of all of us. You guys are the example and you set the bar pretty damn high, to be honest. How’d we get all the way up? The good thing is we have people like Kaylest and people like Raga who are obviously going to be big, like you guys, one day.

I’m aware that no seniors are going to see this, but I just needed to get it out. I can’t tell you in person, so might as well on my blog, amirite?

A few things before you go: please, please continue on being yourself. Please be the amazing people you are and work hard and in a smart manner in college or in the army or wherever the path I’ll take you. Make sure to always enjoy the time because while you guys were here, we didn’t really actually savor the moments we had and we didn’t think about how meaningful and important they’d be until they’re gone.

I was thinking about writing something longer, but I don’t know what else to say other than thank you so much and sorry. Oh, and of course good luck.

Sincerely,

Me

 

The last few days

At first I wasn’t planning to write this, but then I thought I might as well.

We were on finals schedule both Thursday and Friday. Finals schedule in my school are two-hour classes, one day being even-numbered classes and the next being odd.

Thursday

My first period on Thursday was math. Math isn’t bad; it’s literally the one thing I can do myself and not have to have a teacher teach me. It’s relatively easy and the teacher’s super nice. Plus, I get along with most of the people in that class quite fine, better than most of my other classes.

The thing is we had two performance tasks and it left me with a brain full of goop afterwards. I had a throb of a headache and my stomach hurt more than ever. It was bad.

Image result for headache meme

Science was sort of a good period. My best friend was there and her other friend was there too, so it was pretty cool. We sit at a pair of tables but our little group of 3 ended up succeeding because of the other group’s view on one of us. Then, they ended up crossing our border and yeah, just trying to keep them out was a task. It was fun but so emotionally exhausting.

PE was a ride full of boredness. My friends were deep in conversation about Attack on Titans which I now secretly detest because of Nathaniel’s (my friend’s friend, I don’t know if I should call him my friend too since I only talk to him once a day and he hates me) summaries of it. I hate it with such a passion, it’s not a joke.

This kid also came and started saying my friends’ names and about them sitting in a tree. I shot back, saying that there was no tree under him. He pointed out a tree and I said it was so far and that my point was still valid. He then started singing it again, but now instead of my friends’ names, he said mine and acne.

That really annoyed me. Why? Because I heard my brother and his eighth-grade friend talking about girls and them being flat-chested and then some other things. They were saying how that’s more attractive or some weird thing about it.

Then I heard my brother call this girl ugly. In front of her.

I’ve never seen any guy do anything like that. But I haven’t been close and talked to a boy at that extent. And it upsets me that a 13-year-old boy is thinking like that and saying stuff like that.

It sucks. It really does. Like, we did nothing to the boy and then he comes to bother my friends when he knows it annoys the living crap out of them when they’re shipped. I don’t care about the acne thing, but apparently, he does.

I don’t care though, so meh.

Moving on to everyone’s favorite day of the week (except restaurant workers)…

Friday

Sorry, I had to. Kill me now.

Friday I had Elective, History, and English. In our elective, my friend and I just talked about stuff and people and that was fun. We have this project we’re doing that I’ll post directions to do because it is pretty neat, just a bit challenging.

We worked on our finals in history. We just have to do projects, but they suck. I’ve dedicated 24+ hours on my history final and it’s still not done. It was due on Friday, too.

English was sad. We took the MAP test which is a test you take (or are supposed to) 3 times during the year: when you first start school, before New Years’, and before the end of the school year. Last time I got around 253-5. This time I got 246. I dropped by a lot. I had improved from the beginning of the year to winter, but then dropped all the progress I made.

I also had to stay after school to finish the Math performance tasks. This part was fun. Epically. I was around people I was comfortable with and doing things I love. Yes, the PT was tough, but in the end, we finished it and had a good time. I also feel we got closer as a squad. I’ve been sitting with the same crew in that class and, like, 60% of them are leaving the school.

Saturday

On Saturday, I had to wake up early to walk to the Police Roadeo. I said I was going to go and I went. Thing is I just hopped in with them and when we went to the booth, the other people were surprised I was there because I hadn’t told them I was there. It’s a bit confusing.

Anyway, a parent of one of the kids then said there’s another person there.

Wrong. There was two.

That is if you count the bee.

There was a bee chilling on my leg. It was just there. Sitting. I told them and someone gave me this Hi-chews wrapper that I used to scoop it up, but it was a simple task turned complicated. The bee ended up crawling under my leg and just sitting where my butt would’ve been. I had to squat until I finally got it on the wrapper. I just threw it out afterwards.

I felt bad, but then the bee was gone, so there wasn’t much of a reason to.

The day went on just like any other day.

Oh, I slept like a log after the whole endeavor because I woke up really early (to me) on a Saturday and Saturdays were, like, specifically made for sleeping in till 5 pm, so change for me there. It’s also finals week and although we don’t have tests like the high schoolers, we have projects that are so, so time-consuming, it’s not a joke. Finals week literally means sleepless week.

Anyways, bye for now. I’ll be posting over the next few days after I finish all this late work. Toodles and I’ll catch you on the flipside. Peace.